theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
