Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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