Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
