You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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