pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
