I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
