Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
