i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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