His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
