It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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