I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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