You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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