but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
