and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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