There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
