One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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