I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
