no, he came in my armpit
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
