That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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