M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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