hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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