If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Shame is for Republicans.
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