i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize