am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
