Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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