Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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