Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
