I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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