I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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