Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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