it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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