I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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