Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Houston, we have a squirter
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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