Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
