We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
