Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
be right there i have to get my cape
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
