You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
