he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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