Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
