I will die if light touches me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
