can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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