Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
