We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
