she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
