I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also, beer. Big fan.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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