Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
