Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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