My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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