i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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