imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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