it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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