I can't watch pbs sober anymore
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
