I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize