is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
