Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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