it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
