Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
