If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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